The Good Samaritan

Every now and then you come across remarkable individuals that make you stop and wonder, makes you believe the humankind and inspire you to be better. I came across such an individual few weeks ago. I was driving home after work and my trusted companion, my car decided to shut down in the middle of the road. There never is a perfect time to face a car breakdown, but having to face it night before you are scheduled to go on a holiday was not the best of time. I was already so far behind my packing and getting things in order for the holiday so having to face a car breakdown was a total nightmare.

However I consider myself to be lucky that it happened before I enter the motorway. I could only imagine how catastrophic it would have been if I was travelling on the motorway 100/kmh. Anyway there I was causing a huge traffic jam on Christmas eve eve (or 23^rd December) parked at an intersection. I could see the long queue of vehicles piling up behind me through the rear-view mirror. Drivers and passenger of pass by cars were throwing curious looks. Even though it was not my fault I felt embarrassed. And to make things worse the road side assistance customer services cheerfully notified there would be a 1 ½-2 hour waiting time all thanks to 40 degrees weather we were having that day.

I called PRA to see if he could come and pick me up but I could not get hold of him on any of the numbers I rang. So much for my knight in shining armour!!  Why does he never pick up his damn phone whenever I need him?

I could feel myself getting worked up. I was not sure with who I should get angry at; the VW Service Centre who scheduled my next service later than I planned; PRA for not picking up the phones; or with myself for letting myself slip and not getting the packing done on time. 

It didn't matter which way I thought there was not a single way I could have predicted or avoided the incident. I took a deep breath and told myself – this too will pass, just be in the moment, this is what it is.

I sat there with my blinkers on and turned on radio to listen to some music, but honestly I was waiting for the radio station to announce the traffic jam I was causing during the rush hour.

Taking deep breaths I try to relax. –Breathing in I calm my body and mind, breathing out I smile -I remember the teaching of Thich Nhat Hanh’s  and try to follow it..

I wasn't doing good as I could feel myself being burned with embarrassment. I avoid looking at passing by cars and that is how I missed the two fireies stopping over to knock on my window.

‘Your car is broken down? ‘ If I was not too embarrassed I would have said ‘ isn't that the obvious’ , instead I was polite in my reply

‘Yes I rang the NRMA and they are going to send a tore tuck to move it, it’s going to take another 1 1 /2 hrs it seems’

‘OK what we will do it push you over to the island, you will be safe there until tore truck come to fetch you’- one of the fireies smiled. Gosh what they show on TV is real, those two were hunks. Damn I was too distressed to take a photo to share with my girlfriends to show how I was being rescued by two handsome fire fighters!

While the two fireies started pushing the on to the safety zone a third guy came from the opposite side of the road. I vaguely remember him getting out of his UTE that was stopped for traffic light and coming over to push my car. Only when I was pushed on to the safety zone and the two fireies took off I realised I never got around to thanking the third person or could not even remember his face. 

 Once I was in safety I was bit relaxed. I was not causing any traffic jams, help was on its way and one of my closest friends was on the other end of the phone line. I was sharing my ordeal with my friend when Kyle jumped in to the passenger seat and introduces himself to me-

‘Hi I’m Kyle’‘You listen to the same radio station as I do. Do you like Michael Buble?’

During the first few minutes I thought he was a technician from road side assistance because of the way he inspect the car. When he realised that there wasn't a quick fix he settled in and told me he was the 3^rd guy who helped to push my car to the safety zone. And the Good Samaritan has come back to check if I was doing OK.

At the beginning it was a polite chat about the music station we both listen, about work, Christmas rush and breakdowns. Then he inquired about my origin. When he found I was from Sri Lanka I could see the excitement bubbling in him. He jumped up like a kid with a Christmas present. It was apparent; Kyle was in love with Sri Lanka!

For a person who has never been to the country he knew more about Sri Lanka than most Sri Lankas do. He knew the geography of the country, the political climate, the cultural differences, the music and the food. And icing on the cake was he loved hot food not the foreign version! He has been in school in year five when he first heard about ‘Ceylon’, and this has made him curious about travelling and exploring. His fascination with the country is so much so that he believes he must have lived in the country in a different life time.
In the next 1 ½ hrs we were chatting away like old friends, sharing stories about the country we both love, our families and our work. He told me about the funeral he was returning from, about the friend he had farewell that evening, the bond he has with his kids, marriage that didn't work and the new love in his life, his journeys across mountains… I could see the kindness in his eyes and generosity in his words flowing through

When the tore truck operator turned up to collect my car he was the one who asked all the technical questions from the driver sparing me the agony of going through stuff that I pretty much didn't understand. When I was told I have to find my own way home Kyle asked me would I trust him to drop me home. Even though my logical mind politely reminded me that I knew next to nothing about this Good Samaritan it felt so natural for me to accept his offer instead of waiting for one of my friends to come and pick me up.

The nervous feeling I had at the beginning chatting to a complete stranger was pretty much gone by that time.  I was not worried or scared. My inner self was calm knowing that if I was destine to face a disaster that day my car would have broken down on the Motorway not be mugged or assaulted by a Good Samaritan who spend last  1 ½ hrs sharing his love for a country he has never visited. Looking back I think all his stories was simply to calm me down and make me comfortable than anything else.

Kyle not only dropped me home he staid back and had a nice long chat with PRA.  He shared his fascination over few cups of tea ( Dilma tea of cause) . PRA and I both were so overwhelmed by his kindness we extend him an invitation to join us for dinner with his partner. I hope he will take us on this as we would love to cook him some Sri Lankan food.

People like Kyle make this world a wonderful place to be and open up your heart to receive strangers in a new light. I wish one day I would be able to pay forward the kindness I received from Kyle in the same sincere, compassionate and warm hearted way I received it.

Thank You Kyle for making a horrible experience a wonderful memory. 

Quantum Jump

Recently I attended a leadership training programme for work and naturally I expect to learn more about leadership techniques. But to my greatest surprise at the end of the training I realised I have learned more about myself than anything else. There is this one particular exercise we did that resonates with me and made me look at life differently.
 

We were invited to participate in an imagine exercise where we had to visualise our 80^th birthday party. In this visualisation 3 people close to us were to whisper something personal in our ear. After 5 minutes of visualisation we were asked to write down who came to us in our visualisation and what they shared with us.

We were given an opportunity to share our visualisation with the group.

For some it was a struggle to imagine how they would look when they were 80 with wrinkles, bald heads and dentures… to one it was too confronting to even think he would live up to 80. One or two were emotionally distressed realising their parents would not make it to 80^th birthday party. One was rocking like a teen being high on dementia tablets having a ball of a time with her family and friends.  Another realised he didn’t possess the convertible or the mansion he is dying to have but surprisingly he was happier.
 

And for me ….in my visualisation my husband, one of my closest friends and a boy I have mentored came to me while I was standing in front of a spacious room filled with sunlight. In my visualisation I felt more than I saw. I felt calm happy and content. The common theme across all three messages I got was how generous and compassionate I have been to them and those around me.

We learned through the visualisation that we have tapped into our subconscious to discover our life’s mission. If we did not liked what we visualised then there was an opportunity for us to change or improvise what we are currently doing to become the person we want to be when we were 80.

The rest of the training was more on harnessing your inner strengths than learning to lead others. But then we all agreed that one can never be a true leader without leading his/her own self.
 

In so many levels that exercise was too confronting but it also changed something in me. It has brought confidence that I lacked and it helped me to overcome the doubt I used to nourish. Remembering the calm and content self I saw helps me navigate myself towards my ideal existence of being a generous and compassionate person. I liked that alternate versions of me I saw in that sun lit room. More than anything I like the way I felt!
 

I would like to invite you to try this exercise and listen to your subconscious mind. Make a quantum jump and discover your alternate version. I would love to hear what you saw and felt if you feel like sharing.

Change or improve if you have to.

The Waiting was over

The waiting was over

It took me nearly 3 years to get to this stage, so you think I would have left home bit early to be on time for my first meeting with Liz. One would hope so, but not me on that day. I am normally a very punctual person, always on time or early to all my appointments. But that day I had a very busy morning and only had 10 minutes to gulp down my lunch before I dashed out the door ( not an excuse, I could have planned the day better). Normally it takes me 20 minutes from my place to the shopping centre but when I left I only had 17 minutes left to get there. I thought I could do it with driving faster ... not that I have much points left in my driver’s license before it get suspended if I get caught speeding, yes I’m skating on thin ice!

And the luck was against me that day, not only I got delayed all thanks to unexpected traffic on a Saturday afternoon, when I reached the shopping centre I could not find a parking spot to park my ‘babe’. I didn't realised that they have shut down a whole parking floor for some repairs and maintenance-what were they thinking shutting down a whole floor in the middle of Christmas shopping !!! Thank god for mobile phones as I was able to pull aside and send a text message to Liz – just parking the car, I will see you soon –

After going around few circles giving a stern lecture to self,  I managed to park my car. While I was frantically speed walking I got a text back– no worries, take your time- oh how sweet was that. But I was 10 minutes late to our first meeting which I was preparing for last 3 years!

Liz greeted me with a beaming smile. I think she recognised me before I even saw her. She had her long hair in a ponytail and was wearing some comfortable shoes.

-So lovely to see you, I’m so sorry for being late- I was not sure how she would react to physical proximity but I kissed her cheek and apologised.

– Don’t worry about being late, I’m not fussed about that - She looked happy and relaxed returning my greeting.

-So what would you like to do today? How about we start with a chat? – That was me, hoping my nervous not was coming through.

-How about Coffee Club, do you like to sit there? -Liz seems to be eager to move from where she was standing.

We walked across to nearby Coffee Club, ordered two hot chocolates with marshmallows and sat down. So far so good, I told myself smiling with Lizzy who was sitting across me.

3 years of waiting and there I was. Starting a friendship with a stranger.

3 years ago I have applied for a volunteer position to become a ‘friend’ to a person living with a mental illness. The programme is known as Compeer Friendship Programme and is run by St Vincent de Paul Society. It is an internationally recognised programme based on the Power of Friendship. Truth be told, when I registered for it I did not expect the programme to be that comprehensive. Compeer Programme was structured in a way that not only I had to go for an interview with a Compeer Coordinator (perhaps checking if I was stable enough), I had to provide reference checks (from what I have heard back from all 3 referees I gave, they all had to provide a detail written report about my qualities and behaviour) and participate in a comprehensive 2 day training programme on mental illnesses and Compeer Friendship.

Until I sat through the training I did not realised that there are so many verities of mental illnesses or that 1 out of 5 Australians (OK my memory isn't that good, this training was done 3 years ago so the statistics can be wrong, but the idea is that it is more common than I ever imagine it to be) are suffering from some kind of mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar or schizophrenia. As a nation we are lagging behind in openness and acceptance of mental illnesses in our society. There is still a stigma attached to mental illnesses. We need to be more open like the Europeans are.

Anyway after all this I had to wait for a match where they pair you in one to one friendship with a person in same gender,  age and with some common interests. The main objective of this friendship is for the volunteer (me) to help the other person to come out of the social isolation she is in due to mental illness.

So I waited 3 years for this match to happen. Beginning of every year my Compeer coordinator would contact me and enquire if I am still interested in to go through the process for which I would always say YES. Every Christmas I would get a greeting card from her and her team. Occasionally I would receive an invite to participate in some kind of volunteer gatherings events, that I would politely declined ( I was not a volunteer yet to go to those events). Each month there was not hope for a match I was disappointed, but still kept hope.

I used the training I received to help a friend who had a family member going through Schizophrenia. Without the training I would not have been able to be there for her without being scared or judging. Training helped me to be  a better colleague at work. I shared what I have leaned on mental illnesses with my family and friends to building awareness and cut down the stigma.

Finally long waited e-mail hit my in box few months ago. I had a match!!! Whoohoo… I was happy to meet up with my volunteer coordinator to go through my friends profile .I took time off from work to meet up with Liz’s health care professional…So after all those hurdles it was time to have a group meeting.

First thing I noticed about Liz was her smile. She has this gorgeous smile that transfers her to a very younger looking person. I remember seeing her smile for the first time when I was nervously waiting at her health care professional’s office.

I had a meeting with volunteer coordinator, Liz and her health care professional. As the final stage of Compeer Friendship Programme four of us had a face to face meeting to go through rights and responsibilities of the volunteer & the friend. We all acknowledge and agreed to adhere the guidelines. After the meeting Liz and I set a date for our first ‘outing’ as friends.

So there I was on a sunny Saturday afternoon, sitting in a Coffee parlour eagerly waiting for my journey to ‘unknown’ to commence ….. What do they say that best things come to those who wait? well I waited 3 years, so bring it on!